


He is a Woman

by PandoraButler



Series: Black Butler Backstories [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Death, Geisha, Grim Reapers, Imagined Backstory, M/M, Prostitutes, Red Light District, Shinigami, Suicide, Trigger Warnings, grell is fabulous, personified female death, yoshiwara district
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:58:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15017156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: This is the backstory of Grell Sutcliff. The story of how he turned into a reaper. And, as we all know, reapers were humans that have committed suicide. After being sold into the Yoshiwara District life, Gou (Grell) lives his days by and by wishing for something more. He meets Wahachirou, a male that forever changes him, but their love doesn't last for long...





	He is a Woman

**Author's Note:**

> I figured that the reapers have different names from when they were human. Gou is Grell. Wahachirou is essentially William; however, he isn't William so don't think they are the same person (Grell just has a type c;).   
> Here are some terms you should know before reading:  
> Geisha: a Japanese hostess trained to entertain men with conversation, dance, and song. A geisha was never to be sexually involved with a customer, though there were exceptions.  
> Yoshiwara District: In the early 17th century, there was widespread male and female prostitution throughout the cities of Kyoto, Edo, and Osaka. There were set spots (districts) for where sexual activity (prostitution) was allowed. Yoshiwara is the district for Edo.  
> Red-Light District: is a part of an urban area where a concentration of prostitution and sex-oriented businesses, such as sex shops, strip clubs, and adult theaters are found. (another name for places like Yoshiwara)  
> Tatami Mats: a type of flooring used in a traditional Japanese style room. It's made of like compressed wood and straw. I suggest looking up a picture of a traditional Japanese room before reading. Or just edo period rooms/buildings to imagine the setting.   
> Shogi: aka Japanese Chess or Game of Generals. It's a strategy game. Just imagine chess but with little pieces in the shape of irregular pentagons.  
> Futon: Consists of a mattress and a duvet. Japanese futons are different from Western futons so look them up if you need a reference.  
> Katana: a Japanese sword that was used by samurai. There are no samurai in this so the people using them have stolen them from someplace or another.

The Yoshiwara district had never been a friend to anyone. It was simply a place built entirely for the pleasure of men. There weren't just prostitutes here, there were various other methods of pleasure as well. It was the enemy of women and man’s greatest invention. In this civilization lived a red-headed male perfect for being a prostitute but instead he was a geisha. He was a performer for fellow men, a dancer, a hostess. He was forbidden to have sexual interactions due to the fact that he was indeed a male at birth. 

After being sold into this life at a young age, he knew absolutely nothing different. He longed for another type of living but unfortunately he couldn't attain such a thing. He’d already been dirtied by this lifestyle, this place, to even dream of something else. So, he continued his job. He continued to do the only thing he ever knew how to do: be a woman. 

His hair was long and overflowing. It was a brilliant red that matched the crimson of blood. He felt it fitting that he worked in a red-light district. His hair was always complemented by the atmosphere here. The underlying murderous intent from the women. The even crueler bloodlust from the men. He found comfort in knowing that he was neither a man nor a woman. He was simply himself, the only thing he could be. His teeth were oddly sharp in nature and people were often reminded of a shark when looking at him. He hated this notion. Often times he would hide behind a fan or ensure that his mouth was closed. He wanted beautiful teeth, like everyone else, but he couldn’t attain them. So, he closed his mouth and hid behind a fan. 

He stood now, in traditional geisha garb, before a group of men that were drinking drinks poured to them by fellow courtesans. The music played and the dance was performed. It was like every other night of his life. The same old same old. However, on this one night in particular, the full moon rested perfectly on a male that didn’t seem interested in the nature of the room around him. He wasn’t looking at the courtesan pouring him his drink. He wasn’t trying to flirt with the prostitutes in the street. He was simply looking at the dancing figure before him, intently at that. Never before had this particular geisha blushed in his entire life. He was thankful for the layered makeup that hid this fact and continued his routine. When he finished, and bowed, his (now drunk) retainer seemed to forget that he wasn’t a woman by birth.  

“That right there gentlemen is the best woman we have,” he snickered, “how much are you willing to pay to defile the undefiled tonight? I’ll overlook it this time.”

As if it were an auction, which it kind of was, prices went out left and right. He stood there, face behind his fan, frantically pleading that this was all just an elaborate joke. He had never pleased a man before and certainly didn’t think that he needed to in his lifetime. He figured that because he was born male at birth that gave him a bit of protection. He was poorly mistaken. 

“One-hundred million,” a voice rang out that sent the others into a pin-drop silence. The same male that was graced by the moonlight had suggested this insane amount. 

“At that rate you might as well buy the woman from me,” the male laughed and slapped his knee. “I think we have found our winner,” he gestured that the geisha lead him out of the room and into another. He had no choice but to do so. His mind was frantic with anxiety. How could this have happened to him? He should’ve expected this day to come eventually but the thought had always been pushed to the back of his mind. He didn’t want to think about something like this so he had never planned an escape. What should he do? What could he possibly do?

This is a place designed to pleasure men. Why did he think he was safe here? He continued to lead the man down the halls into the room that was designated for them, well, actually, it was just his room. The two were now alone, together, sitting awkwardly across from one another. The red-head stared at the guy before him. He was stern. He looked fierce. There wasn’t an ounce of expression on his face. There was nothing to hint at what would happen next. The male closed the gap between them and closed the fan that the other was holding. He snatched it and threw it across the room. This startled the red-head and caused him to flinch.

“There is nothing I despise more than when people hide their true nature,” the male began, “you won’t be needing that fan in here. We are the only two people. I’m not going to touch you. I just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else having the chance.”

The red-head wasn’t sure what was happening but decided that trying to get the fan back wouldn’t be beneficial. He didn’t want to make this stranger angry. Although, there was something that told him this stranger never would be angry with him. He seemed the type that was calm and collected at all times. What would it take to make him flustered? The red-head found himself asking that question and was shocked that such a thought would even come to mind. 

“My name is Wahachirou,” the male introduced himself. The red-head didn’t say anything at first but then realization hit him that he was supposed to introduce himself too. No one had ever asked his name and he had almost forgotten that he had one. Was his name even the name that his parents gave him? He didn’t remember a single thing about them, or himself, for that matter.

“Gou,” he replied. Should he trust the fact that this stranger said he wouldn’t touch him? He didn’t think it was possible that a man could have restraint. 

“Do you have ink?” he asked. Gou nodded and stood up to get some. He had kept this bottle for a special time and had hoped that it might’ve been used when he wrote a letter to his lover one day. However, he hadn’t had a lover and he figured the day would never come. Who would love a geisha? Beyond the hours of the night?

He handed the bottle and brush over to Wahachirou. The male rolled up the futon and began drawing on the tatami mats. Gou wondered if this was allowed. It was just a series of boxes and it wasn’t even that big. He assumed that the futon (which was never moved under any circumstances) would cover it up for all eternity. When he finished drawing (whatever it was) he gave the ink and brush back to Gou, who then put it back in its original spot. 

Wahachirou took a bag out of his sleeve, (how he had managed to keep it in there without losing it, Gou had no idea) and placed little wooden pieces inside the squares he had drawn. Gou hadn’t seen this type of thing before. 

“Do you know how to play shogi?” he asked. Gou shook his head. For the entire night he’d have to learn, and play repeatedly, only to lose every single time. Near sunrise he finally gave up and threw his hands in the air. He’d had enough.

“Why do you play such an infuriating game?!” he snapped. He’d finally gotten a little too relaxed around this stranger.

“Because it’s interesting to see how people think,” Wahachirou replied.

“What kind of answer is that?” Gou frowned. 

“Well, from just tonight, I can assure you that I’ve made up my mind about something,” he paused before continuing, “I want to take you away from this place.”

The simple string of words was enough for Gou to burst out in laughter. He laughed and he laughed until he couldn’t stop laughing anymore, “Do you realize what you’re saying? Are you an idiot?” he smiled. “You’d have to come back one-hundred nights in a row and buy me at the price you did today in order to do that. That’s far too much money for any one man.”

“I’ll do it,” his lips slightly curved upward, “I’d do anything for you.” 

That faint smile plagued Gou’s mind for the entire day after Wahachirou had left. He couldn’t determine if it was actually the best that Wahachirou could do, or if there was something else behind it. Maybe Gou would never learn the true meaning. In any case, his heart raced at the thought that maybe his words were true. Maybe he would actually come again tonight, and the next night, and each night after that until they lived together forever. Such fantasies had only been fantasies to Gou before. He’d always dreamed of a man that would save him from this life. He never thought the day would actually come. He cursed himself for getting so attached to the guy. It had only been one night! 

Night came again and sure enough, Wahachirou was waiting for him in his room. The two talked for a while but after staying up all night the night before they quickly fell asleep. In the morning they’d find themselves in each other’s arms. They’d be together for a moment, only to separate for the day and meet up again at night. This continued for many days. Rumors spread about the pact between them. The simple statement that had been made as a joke had turned into reality. Gou found himself falling into a love he didn’t think was possible. He found himself falling for this seemingly cold man. 

Days passed and each night spent was just one night closer to the one-hundredth night. Sometimes they would play shogi. Other times they’d just sleep in each other’s arms. Other times still they’d talk until the wee hours of the morning. The two just wanted to spend every waking moment with each other. Gou was surprised that this encounter had been allowed to continue. He assumed that it was simply because of the money Wahachirou was spending on him. He felt guilty. Especially for lying about his true nature. He wasn’t even a woman. Would Wahachirou still love him once he found out? Something like that didn’t seem possible.

“What’s wrong?” Wahachirou asked. His voice was laced with a concern Gou had never heard before. It wasn’t cold. Just gentle.

“There is something you need to know,” Gou averted his eyes and sighed. He didn’t know how to go about saying this. Where should he even begin? It didn’t seem possible to explain, “I was born a man.”

There was a silence but it was brief. Wahachirou simply looked at Gou. He brought his hands up and cupped his face. He looked at him and smiled. This was the most expressive expression the man had ever shown. “You’ll never be more than the most beautiful woman to me,” he said. Gou felt tears well up in her eyes. She had never been accepted for what she was. That fact had been true for the entirety of her life. The other women mocked her for being born a man. They looked down on her until she proved herself. She was constantly reminded of the fact that she would never live up to anyone’s expectations. In the world of prostitution she was forbidden from even doing that.

Gou wrapped her arms around Wahachirou and cried into his chest. She was conflicted. Happy but sad at the same time. Was this what romance was? Was this true acceptance? When would the one-hundredth day come? It was only day ninety-nine. Tomorrow. Only one more night and the two could elope. Only one more night and she would be free. Just  _ one  _ more night.

The next day would be the worst day of Gou’s life. She was forced to spend the entire day waiting for that final moment. Every minute that passed was excruciating. She just wanted it all to be over. She wanted to live a happy life far away from here. It was about halfway through the day when she realized, something was wrong. People were looking at her strangely. They were whispering things. They were jealous. 

“You need to kill him,” she heard the words and instantly stopped walking. She hid behind the walls and listened to what followed. “We can’t let Wahachirou live. We can’t let him succeed and take Gou from us. Kill him.” She heard the sentences escape from her retainer’s mouth and covered her own. She was going to scream if she didn’t do this much. 

Gou ran as far and as fast as she could. She couldn’t stand the thought of her beloved dying tonight, it was the last night. Where should she look for him? Where would he be? There must be  _ something _ she could do. Something she could  _ say _ . When she realized how helpless she was she stopped in her tracks and she froze. There wasn’t anything she could do. Night was coming quicker now. The anticipation she felt was now nothing but anguish. A simple statement she had made would be her love’s undoing. Happiness was but an illusion for her.

“Gou?” A voice called. It was none other than her love.

“Wachi, you have to leave,” she ran to him and she begged him to go, “they’ll kill you.” But instead of leaving and instead of heeding her warning he simply gave her a look of ease.

“I know,” he said. He was unphased by the words that she spoke. He knew this would happen. He always had. But he had still chosen to love her. 

Bodies surrounded them from all directions. Miscellaneous individuals armed. “You won’t be able to elope,” one said, “we will kill you before you can move.” 

Wahachirou stood in front of Gou and was determined to protect her from harm. They wouldn’t have harmed her anyway. She had been far too profitable. 

Gou grabbed the sleeve of Wahachirou’s clothing. She didn’t know what to do but she wanted him to be safe. Of course, holding onto him wasn’t the way to save him. Nothing could save them now. Gou could only watch as everyone ganged up on Wahachirou. She hadn’t been trained in anything close to self defense so she couldn’t even attempt to assist him. It would’ve been pointless if she tried. 

That simple act of grabbing his clothing had caused him to look back at her. In this instance a katana pierced through his side without him being able to respond fast enough. Wahachirou fell to the ground, blood spilling out in a small pool. The familiar color of Gou’s hair. Gou didn’t know how to react. She didn’t think something like this would ever happen. It had all taken place so quickly. What was she supposed to do now? Wahachirou was dying. 

She knelt down beside him and held him close. He smiled at her, that small curve of the lips, the only smile he was capable of. He tried to speak but he was growing weaker and weaker by the second. Gou felt tears escape her eyes. It was impossible to hold them back. This was her first and last love. 

“Gou,” he whispered, “I love you,” his eyes slowly closed and his body fell limp. Gou stared at the body in her arms. 

“No,” she spoke, “you can’t die yet,” she continued, “we were supposed to elope! You were going to take me away from this place! You didn’t even let me say ‘I love you’ back! Wachi, Wachi wake up. Please?” she sobbed. One of the males that had cornered them placed a hand on Gou’s shoulder for comfort. She shook it off and glared.

“Don’t you touch me, you filth,” Gou glared. She snatched the katana out of its sheath and slit her wrist. The men tried to stop her but it was no use. She would die with Wahachirou now or she would live a cruel and painful life without him. There was no in-between. She’d rather die happily by his side than live another lifetime of sorrow. 

Gou continued to hold Wahachirou’s body as she bleed out. Her long red hair covered them both like a blanket. From a bystander’s perspective it was hard to tell that she was even bleeding because of her hair. That’s exactly how she wanted it. That way no one would try to take her away from him. She hated the thought. 

She held him and smiled in her final moments. Then her body went limp and her consciousness faded. She could barely feel her body at all anymore. This must be what it was like to die. A small light appeared and it seemed as if Wahachirou was reaching out to her. She gratefully reached out to him as well. However, it wasn’t Wahachirou at all. It wasn’t even a man. A woman shrouded in black stood before Gou. She smiled, albeit sadly, and helped her stand. Gou was no longer in the street. She didn’t see anything familiar in this new place. 

“Welcome to your new home,” the woman said, “you shall leave your life behind you and take another step forward as a reaper. Welcome, Grell Sutcliff.”

. . .

“I honestly don’t understand why you play this game,” Grell tapped his foot and glared at the pieces on the board. “Why are you making  _ me _ play it with you, of all people, don’t you have someone else to torture, Will? When you asked me to spend the night with you this is the  _ last _ thing I thought we were going to do,” Grell complained.

“Because it’s interesting to see how people think,” William said. Grell blinked at the response. It was nostalgic for him but he didn’t understand why. Had he heard those words before?

“Why won’t you just admit that even though you hate me, I’m the only reaper you can  _ somewhat _ tolerate in this place?” Grell smirked.

“If you simply did your job so that I didn’t have to work overtime, I wouldn’t have a single problem with you,” William replied. He moved a piece on the board and gestured for Grell to make his move. “Although, I must say you’re a tad too eccentric for my tastes.”

“You’re just jealous because you can’t be this fabulous,” Grell flipped his hair back and made his move. Chess wasn’t his style. He didn’t care if he won or lost at this point.

William’s lips curved upward ever so slightly, “maybe I am,” he said. Grell paused in confusion. He couldn’t have heard those words correctly, right? Must’ve been his imagination. William was far too serious for something like that. 

“Is that a smile? Will, are you smiling?” 

“Of course not.”

“I think you are. Don’t lie to me, Will, you’re totally smiling. You like me, don’t you? Somewhere deep down in that ice cold heart of yours.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re just embarrassed,” Grell grinned, “one day you’ll admit it.” I’ll force it out somehow.”

“That’s absolutely impossible.”

“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Grell was willing to accept the challenge, no matter how long it took. “I bet if I came to visit you everyday for one-hundred days in a row you’d  _ have _ to form some sort of attachment to me at that point.”

William brought a finger to the bridge of his nose to readjust his glasses before saying, “the only kind of attachment I’d form is one to a weapon. After that long a period of time, the only way to keep my sanity would be to kill you.”

Grell laughed, “I’ll just have to find out, won’t I?”

“Do you have a death wish?”

“Honey, we’re already  _ dead _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure you've all noticed the strange transition about halfway through in pronouns. This is symbolic. Grell was never recognized by any of his coworkers as being "female" (just like he isn't recognized in the anime/manga and I always use he/him for Grell because I watched the dubbed first and Grell is portrayed more like a very gay guy and it's just habit now, sorry guys). and so he never allowed himself to fully live as one. However, when Wahachirou accepts him, his mindset changes and he fully accepts that he can actually live as a woman. c: Thus the start of me using feminine pronouns. (this is also why it changes back to masculine pronouns at the end scene because Grell is back to how he started with not being accepted and subconsciously not accepting himself either, but he tries his best and slays regardless)  
> I thought it should go like this because of the OVA about William. Grell essentially has his transformation after working with William that one time. xD So, I thought it fitting that something similar would happen to him again. Wahachirou is basically a Edo period William. However, he isn't William for the sole purpose of me being able to write a backstory for William in the future.   
> I have a headcannon that reapers usually end up in places different from the country that they lived in as a living human because Death wants to give them a new life without them remembering anything that happened in the past (because the past is 99.9% terrible for them since they all killed themselves). That's why this is set in Japan and not England. However, this isn't the case for all reapers and some still are going to have stories in their home country. Also, time is irrelevant for reapers. Death unifies us all across the span of time. As everyone has always died and everyone will continue to die, reapers can basically time travel to the period that they want to collect souls in. This headcannon of mine is important because some "backstories" are actually set in modern times even though Black Butler is set in the Victorian Era. Please don't be confused if you continue with this series c: I hope you enjoyed the first one! <3


End file.
